A Heart Condition

The atmosphere is changing. I can almost hear Mother Nature’s promise for impending snow. I love snow. For some reason, snow seems to possess a certain type of magic. While reminding us that nothing lasts forever, snow gives us an opportunity, or a clean slate if you will, to reflect and remain …quiet.

A new friend of mine was recently scrolling through my blog, and chastised me for using the word “Soulmate,” more times than anyone in the history of the world. …I thought that was a tad dramatic. But then I realized, I’ve never given my own definition. Soulmate is such a broad term really, because it could mean something entirely different to the Jo Schmo standing next to you. While Plato believed humans were tragically split apart by Zeus, always in search of their “other half,” the actual word soulmate wasn’t coined until 1822 by a disheartened married guy.

Many people believe that “soulmate” is just a term. A term used by hopeless romantics who are still naïve to the ways of love. I’ve encountered some people who simply don’t believe in “souls.” Our bodies and minds are all that exist, and once we turn to dust…that’s it. There’s nothing left.

Other humans have a deity they worship. They place blind faith into the idea of souls, and heaven, and usually the devil too. Belief systems, opinions, emotional baggage, and so many other concepts go into your personal version of soulmate.

A part of me wishes that you and I could lay next to one another on pillows, and I could listen to you define the word on your own terms.

But alas…you’ve arrived to JBlondie’s tiny corner, and this will be the first time I see my own meaning for soulmate in black and white.

When I was but a tiny toe-head, my mother instilled in me the beauty of the stars. She kept me humble by explaining everything she knew about the vast galaxies above, making me realize the possible insignificance of our existence. Whenever a star would die and fall into the darkened abyss, we would cast our wishes upon it hoping for them to come true. It’s a tradition I still follow through with to this day. I have no clue who or what is up there, but there is definitely something. And I’m hoping it’s got my back.

In my opinion, we are all too different, too unique to simply be built by evolution alone. Our species is too small, too unimportant to exist without a greater purpose. Each one of us has been placed here for a reason. Beyond biology, looking past the physical element, our energy was created somewhere else by something unknown. We are all too complicated to only be comprised of atoms with ventricles and a brain.

It’s not uncommon for eye rolling reactions, or scoffs with a tiny bit of laughter to occur when I explain my idea of soulmates to those around me. I completely understand how idealistic and unfounded my beliefs remain. Some say I’m afraid. They see my need to believe in the unknown as a type of dependence. A way of making the hard parts of life easier, and giving a meaning behind tragedy helps me make sense of it all. And to that I say…so what?

Rooted within me is a sixth sense. It’s a ball of warmth lying on the very top of my rib cage, and it reminds me that we are not alone.

Since I was 11 years old and gazing upon the stars, I have known that when I was created there was another soul made to match mine. Nothing within me is “missing” per say, I am a complete being…but I know that somewhere out there, on this expansive earth, he is searching for me just as I am looking for him. And when we finally find one another, the puzzle will be complete.

There can be multiple great loves in a lifetime, but there is only one individual who is the check to our mate. Every good relationship has positive attributes…but with soulmates there is an indescribable component, something you just have to feel to truly believe. So call me delusional, call me crazy, but my heart will continue to roam until she knows she’s finally found home.

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