A Heart Condition

The atmosphere is changing. I can almost hear Mother Nature’s promise for impending snow. I love snow. For some reason, snow seems to possess a certain type of magic. While reminding us that nothing lasts forever, snow gives us an opportunity, or a clean slate if you will, to reflect and remain …quiet.

A new friend of mine was recently scrolling through my blog, and chastised me for using the word “Soulmate,” more times than anyone in the history of the world. …I thought that was a tad dramatic. But then I realized, I’ve never given my own definition. Soulmate is such a broad term really, because it could mean something entirely different to the Jo Schmo standing next to you. While Plato believed humans were tragically split apart by Zeus, always in search of their “other half,” the actual word soulmate wasn’t coined until 1822 by a disheartened married guy.

Many people believe that “soulmate” is just a term. A term used by hopeless romantics who are still naïve to the ways of love. I’ve encountered some people who simply don’t believe in “souls.” Our bodies and minds are all that exist, and once we turn to dust…that’s it. There’s nothing left.

Other humans have a deity they worship. They place blind faith into the idea of souls, and heaven, and usually the devil too. Belief systems, opinions, emotional baggage, and so many other concepts go into your personal version of soulmate.

A part of me wishes that you and I could lay next to one another on pillows, and I could listen to you define the word on your own terms.

But alas…you’ve arrived to JBlondie’s tiny corner, and this will be the first time I see my own meaning for soulmate in black and white.

When I was but a tiny toe-head, my mother instilled in me the beauty of the stars. She kept me humble by explaining everything she knew about the vast galaxies above, making me realize the possible insignificance of our existence. Whenever a star would die and fall into the darkened abyss, we would cast our wishes upon it hoping for them to come true. It’s a tradition I still follow through with to this day. I have no clue who or what is up there, but there is definitely something. And I’m hoping it’s got my back.

In my opinion, we are all too different, too unique to simply be built by evolution alone. Our species is too small, too unimportant to exist without a greater purpose. Each one of us has been placed here for a reason. Beyond biology, looking past the physical element, our energy was created somewhere else by something unknown. We are all too complicated to only be comprised of atoms with ventricles and a brain.

It’s not uncommon for eye rolling reactions, or scoffs with a tiny bit of laughter to occur when I explain my idea of soulmates to those around me. I completely understand how idealistic and unfounded my beliefs remain. Some say I’m afraid. They see my need to believe in the unknown as a type of dependence. A way of making the hard parts of life easier, and giving a meaning behind tragedy helps me make sense of it all. And to that I say…so what?

Rooted within me is a sixth sense. It’s a ball of warmth lying on the very top of my rib cage, and it reminds me that we are not alone.

Since I was 11 years old and gazing upon the stars, I have known that when I was created there was another soul made to match mine. Nothing within me is “missing” per say, I am a complete being…but I know that somewhere out there, on this expansive earth, he is searching for me just as I am looking for him. And when we finally find one another, the puzzle will be complete.

There can be multiple great loves in a lifetime, but there is only one individual who is the check to our mate. Every good relationship has positive attributes…but with soulmates there is an indescribable component, something you just have to feel to truly believe. So call me delusional, call me crazy, but my heart will continue to roam until she knows she’s finally found home.

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30 thoughts on “A Heart Condition

  1. Here’s to your search. You might get a kick out of watching the old Ronald Colman movie — made in the ’30s — “Lost Horizon,” based on the James Hilton novel. I think you will resonate to the last lines spoken in the film, as you search for your own version of Shangri La.

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  2. Nice definition. I think we each create our own definition. I also think you know your soulmate in some inexplicable way when you meet them. In my mind I picture two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. To me, when you get that feeling with someone, you know.

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    • I don’t think it should be looked at as settling for less. If there is an opportunity to fall into love why not take it? They may not be your soulmate but if there’s chance for love in your life why not run with that?

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  3. We are all too different to be built by evolution? Evolution thrives on and constantly creates differences!

    If you said we are all too similar to have been created through evolution, that would make more sense 😉

    But yes, there are people who we match up with better than others, not only on a personal level but on a DNA level as well. It takes a complementary nature and nurture to allow two people to come together in a way where they can work together in a fulfilling and respectful partnership. I think the idea of one soulmate is a sham, but that there are degrees of soulmateyness. You just haven’t come across a high enough degree of it yet!

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    • I think I understood what she meant: More like, there are too many particularities about each one of us, such a turmoil of different feelings and emotions, to be simply explained by the standard explanation that Science has provided until now.

      And I know it might not make as much sense from a scientific perspective but, besides the soul mates concept (which I have a different opinion), I do think the same way as Jblondie regarding ‘there is more to it’. As far I know, 10 years from now, we can all all discover that we have always been wrong – as so many times scientists have been before through history 🙂

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      • It’s definitely not something that can be completely formulated to create successful matches all the time.

        Then again, I have heard that there tends to be stronger monogamy and greater happiness in arranged marriages as compared to personally selected marriages. I think that has a lot to say about the nature of partnerships.

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      • I’ve heard of that statistic as well, and I think it would be VERY important to analyze the culture that supports arranged marriages as to why they last longer…

        I doubt it has anything to actually do with the partnership.

        Side Note: I once worked for an Indian man who had an arranged marriage. His wife was lovely. He on the other hand visited strip clubs multiple times per week, hit on ALL of the female employees (like even the 70 yr old women) and he told me once that the only reason he hired me was because “you look good at the front desk.” …if my parents arranged for me to marry that man I would have jumped off a bridge!!

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      • I understand the lasts longer argument, but what about the happiness factor? I think it has more to do with realizing that you are making the commitment and you are accepting it, while in the search for a love marriage, the ‘this is it’ point can be much tougher to come by which leads to less relationship stability.

        But yes, there are problems in arranged marriage situations too.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I wouldn’t be surprised. Arrangements are an invitation to rationality.

        For me, a true ‘soulmate’ will turn your world upside down. You’ll never marry. You’ll never be together. Such is the intensity of everything.
        I have heard some similar concepts elsewhere.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I knew you were bound to comment on this post Jason Shaw. haha…

      Evolution creates differences sure hence the word…we evolve to hopefully a better species. HOWEVER…I was talking about more than cells and biology. I was thinking more along the lines of the human spirit and emotions and all of that other mushy gushy stuff.

      This world is so much bigger than the nature/nurture argument.

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      • True, there are circumstances and all of our other connections, as well as timing that also come into play. There are a lot of things that need to fall in line, and it can seem magical. But then conscious decisions need to be made as well, and problems need to be solved, and communication needs to be maintained.

        So yeah, it’s certainly not something that can be controlled. A humble approach tends to be useful.

        In other words, my soulmate-seeking days are not ones I look back at too fondly.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m such an old cynical cow, I don’t believe in soul-mates at all. I think it is a lovely idea and I love the way your wrote about it though. I hope you find your soul-mate, or the person that makes you feel like they are your soul-mate. Everyone deserves great love in their life.

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  5. This is me….
    “A new friend of mine was recently scrolling through my blog, and chastised me for using the word “Soulmate,” more times than anyone in the history of the world.”

    I’ve been playing the online version of the dating game since 2000. Back then a combination of vanilla and bdsm sites. (Now I only look for sluts:)
    My issue isn’t with her elegant description of what a soulmate means to her.
    But the fact that “soulmate” had to be used in over 50% of the profiles I was reading on the mostly vanilla sites.
    I am SICK of reading the word soulmate!!
    So when jb used it over and over and over again it just bugged the hell out of me….~soft smile~

    How much do I dislike the word…?
    I knew it was in one of my old vanilla profiles and I found it…
    This was a part of my Match.com profile

    I’m getting pretty close to just deleting the profiles that say “soulmate” or mention “having a glass of wine for a romantic evening.”
    Ladies it’s not the wine that makes an evening romantic, it is YOU.
    Actually if I read “soulmate” again you will have to pass me a bottle of wine:)

    On a different note….
    Jb concluded with this thought, “There can be multiple great loves in a lifetime, but there is only one individual who is the check to our mate.”
    Ya but what if my ‘mate’ has a ‘check’ next to her name because she is married?
    I guess I don’t get a soulmate?

    Now I need to find a bottle of wine because I’m gagging over writing soulmate EIGHT freaking times in this comment:)

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  6. Nice. I’ve recently been reading about soulmates too. The idea that we can have more than one soul mate is the one that resonates with me. I think I had at least one, who prepared me for the one I’ve recently met. I haven’t read as much about twin flames – and other halves.

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  7. Your take on snow is very Zen. Do you meditate? Keep that philosophy close to your heart and you’ll never lose your way.

    I thought the term ‘soulmate’ was coined in Philadelphia in 1974. Thanks for the correct.

    I do not believe that there’s ONE soulmate who is your missing puzzle piece. You’ll meet many throughout you life who can give you what you seek. Not just ONE. Plus, that need will change over time. Five years from now, you’ll fall for someone who you wouldn’t have looked at twice today. Today’s cast-off is tomorrows soulmate.

    Liked by 2 people

      • How do you mean jaded?! Just the opposite! I’m saying you needent harden your heart and think you’re on a epic quest for just one special person. The world is full of opportunities. You’ll get dozens of chances. I’m not sure how you interpreted this sentiment as jaded.

        Celebrating 17 years of monogamy. Two years dating. 15 married. Do you think that was easy? For EITHER of us? It wasn’t! But guess what? It’s WORTH IT.

        Liked by 1 person

      • “Five years from now, you’ll fall for someone who you wouldn’t have looked at twice today. Today’s cast-off is tomorrows soulmate.”

        You don’t see that as a little jaded? I don’t know…I felt like you were saying someone new will come along every couple of years who we’ll find better than our current partner and it will be a given we’ll choose the shiny new version.

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