Fuck.

The minute the word “Fuck” graced my virgin lips I fell in love. I can still remember the first time I used it. During a super serious 7th grade gym class, involving an intense game of Dodge Ball, I had gotten tagged in the head by one of my male classmates. I recall my friend Dana looking at me suspiciously as if we couldn’t believe the word had flew out of my mouth. Time stood still for a moment. …similar to a great first kiss.

 “Fuck,” is what I like to call an “any situation word, ” or an “all-rounder.” If there wasn’t such a stigma on women cussing, I’d let that fucker fly out of my mouth thirty times a day instead of twenty. For some reason, my relationship with the word fuck has been one of the longest relationships of my life. But where does it come from? What does it mean? And why does my daily vocabulary feel so naked without it?

Growing up I was ingrained with the belief that cussing is “unlady like,” and “ugly.” My mother abhorred me using it while I lived in her house, and to this day she gives me the “evil eye,” whenever I let it slip around family. …needless to say, the majority of looks I get from my mother involve the “evil eye.”

But I digress…

So I did a little research (I know, you’re welcome). Believe it or not, this magical word is quite mysterious. There are three urban legends to what the word “Fuck” means, with the most common being “Fornication Under Consent of the King.” However, this is NOT true. (Thanks for that rumor Monty-Python)

Turns out, “Fuck” can be dated back all the way to 1278, being used as a last name, and in 1379 was noted for the first time in the English language being used to describe sex. As far as etymologists can confirm, the word “Fuck” means to literally “strike” or “hit” something.

Hence the phrase…”Hit it and Quit it.”

For you grammar police out there, “Fuck” can be used as every type of speech. Amazeballs right? You can use it as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, etc…”Fuck” has you covered. (You just came in your shorts a little bit didn’t you? …Gross)

So I know what you’re thinking…so fucking what JBlondie…how am I suppose to use this super-bomb-ass word? Well you came to the right place. Let’s begin with some pretty common expressions…

When I meet people who annoy me, I’ll simply use:

 fuckoff

However, when people REALLY annoy me I will utilize:

It's better to confuse them while you're telling them to get fucked.

…I like to add a little insult to the injury

Also, you Never want to forget the beauty of name calling. It’s super mature and really productive…So feel free to steal one of these beauties the next time you’re in a fight with someone special.

 mother-fucker

-fucktard

titty

I especially like to use “Fuck” to describe any and ALL emotions I’m feeling.

Hunger

Hunger

Distrust

Distrust

Pride

Pride

Pain

Pain

And We Can’t Forget….

Absolute Apathy

Absolute Apathy

Another fucking fabulous point to remember about the word “Fuck” is really there are no words necessary because you can express it in many other ways. For instance, the next time you’re having a heated texting fight with your significant other, I suggest throwing one of these at them.

Boom! Shit just got real.

Boom! Shit just got real.

…or let’s say you’re looking for something a little MORE colorful…something that says “I don’t give a fuck because I’m a fucking unicorn and you’re a boring fucker…”

unicorn

No one can dull my fucking sparkle…

Now obviously there are times where you’d want to use this image in person…you want YOUR finger to be the last thing they see. THIS is the method I typically utilize…

lickingfinger

But maybe this is more your style….

fingerkiss

I think this method is rather pretty…

There are certain people who believe cussing is for the uneducated, or that it’s immature. Some would say using this type of vocabulary is rather mindless, and the use of “Fuck” is simply for those who lack knowledge of the English language, or better outlets to express themselves. But to those individuals I’d like to propose a question…Why does it feel so FUCKING good to use some of these phrases?

“Go Fuck a Duck.”

“Heads are going to Fucking Roll.”

“I don’t Give a Fuck.”

“Houston, we have a big Fucking problem.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely!”

Fuck Me.”

“What the Fuck?!?”

Yeah...I don't know either.

Yeah…I don’t know either.

There are entire books on the word “Fuck.” In fact, after researching the word “Fuck,” combined with my sexual history…it’s my personal belief Jblondie could be considered a “Fuckologist.” Just saying.

A critical component to remember when using the word “Fuck” is you must mean it. That’s the problem with kids these days…there’s no passion behind the words they use. No commitment. I also suggest using it responsibly. Meaning…behind your boss’s back and NOT in front of your mother. Abstaining from using it around anyone under the age of 18 is also highly suggested. After all, cussing in front of children is just fucking tacky.

Again, I digress…

In my opinion, the word “Fuck,” can truly be a meaningful expression of one’s self. It could be seen as an everyday rebellion, a right of passage, or a taboo gone right. Some of us use it on-the-daily, while others choose to let it fly sparingly. Whatever category you place “Fuck” into, I hope the next time this word tips your tongue it’s used with vigor. Because knowledge is power, and now you too are knowledgeable about the word Fuck.

Happy Fucking Monday WordPress! Let your Freak-Flag Fly today with no shame.

apathy

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23 thoughts on “Fuck.

  1. Your comment on today’s youth reminded me of a single cell cartoon I saw in some upscale magazine many years ago. Two businessmen were walking past a wooden fence on which someone had written:
    FOCK
    One said to the other something like, “Today’s kids can’t even spell.”

    Liked by 1 person

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