I was in trouble. I immediately wanted to sleep with him. He was exactly my type. Tall, cute as fuck, and his dimples made my panties wet. Not only that, but within the first fifteen minutes of looking into his brown eyes, I knew he had switched his emotions off about six months prior.
Screw the tacos in front of me. I wanted to taste him.
Two and a half months after realizing my soul-mate was NOT Peter James Turner, I was sitting in car with a man named Kurt.
Kurt was my first date after I had almost drowned from chasing my Catfish. I also tend to believe these days he was a test.
The gods had provided me with Kurt for a reason. They wanted me to prove to them that I now possessed the ability to make better choices when it came to men.
He picked me up in a silver Subaru Impreza WRX SPT. I know what you’re thinking. “Man that’s a nice car,” (yeah, it is). I’m also sure your next thought was “Jesus Jblondie is stupid.” Who gets into a stranger’s car, late at night, letting him know where she lives and giving him full range to drive her anywhere he wants to?
…What can I say? After The Catfish I no longer cared what happened to me. My safety wasn’t a large concern anymore. That’s what happens when Jblondie is broken…I become reckless.
And as he rolled down his tinted window to say hello I realized I no longer had that rush of anxiety. The sensation of excitement for a first date was non-existent. I was numb once again…
As Kurt headed south, he began telling me about his job, and the crew he worked with. Before I knew it, he had let it slip that plastered to his Jeep Cherokee back at home, was a Confederate Flag license plate. I began to question him on this fact, and he agreed to the statement that if given the chance he would absolutely live in a place filled with hillbillies and entitled “Whitesville.”
My humanistic heart began to cry. Racists still existed? Who knew? I thought that once Obama claimed office everyone just kind of got over themselves and started to love each other better. Guess not. I tend to be highly naïve regarding the human condition. Please do not take offense to my idiocy.
He took me to a Mexican restaurant that was open past midnight and upon our arrival two large black men were sitting at the counter. We sat down at a table next to the front window and I could sense Kurt’s tension immediately. His entire body was rigid. I quickly realized his anxiety had nothing to do with me but rather the boisterous male counterparts just three feet away.
I began to ask Kurt a simple question regarding his racism and I will never forget his answer because his tone of voice sent a chill down my spine.
“You need to stop it with that. Right Now,” he snapped.
In that moment Kurt gave me a gift. After his response above I knew what Kristyn had always meant regarding flashing red lights. Every direction I looked Kurt was flashing red and anything regarding him required warning signs for a girl like me. I was suddenly sick to my stomach.
He was annoyed by my cheerfulness. He was bothered by my energy. My usual route of asking questions didn’t work because he refused to share personal details about himself. I was at a standstill. Kurt needed to be in control and he certainly wasn’t going to relinquish it to a girl like me…one he had no desire for.
After we finished our tacos Kurt took me for a drive. We started off roaming through his childhood neighborhood and we ended up on the highway. I LOVE speed. It’s on my bucket list to one-day drive on the Autobahn. I requested we go as fast as possible and he complied with more than 130 mph. I loved every second of it.
He dropped me off and we said good night with a hug. Kurt had been a gentleman despite his racist downfall AND despite the fact he didn’t really like me as a person. Thank you Kurt-I needed your kindness more than you realized that night.
Would you be surprised to know that I saw Kurt several times after our Mexican meal?…. but it certainly wasn’t to talk. The Racist would soon come to be known as the best sex of my life. Raw…emotionless…and fun as fuck. You’ll be reading about our sex-capades shortly.
P.S. …that test? I passed with flying colors. Jblondie now has no problem turning down emotionally barren men.