I recently received an email from The Mad Hatter. It read…
“JBlondie has become quite the Jslut.”
I haven’t responded…until now.
Dear Mad Hatter,
First of all, I’d just like to say, thanks for the continued patronage to my blog! I truly appreciate my fans who have been there since the beginning. The fact that you still spend your time reading about my little, insignificant life is well…kind of sad, but also just as entertaining for me as I hope my stories are for you.
If I’m being completely honest, your words stung. I allow myself to be a vulnerable human being with emotions, and therefore my feelings get really fucking hurt sometimes. Too bad you don’t have any, maybe then you’d realize how absolutely unnecessary and inappropriate your email was. I truly regret allowing you to have that kind of power over me (and the fact that you’ve seen me naked makes it so much worse) but everything happens for a reason. Maybe some unknown girl somewhere will read this post one day and decide to just say “fuck him,” if one of the men she’s dated calls her a slut.
So in case that girl is reading right now, I’d like to take a minute and talk about the verbal vomit you felt compelled to throw my way.
Slut: A Woman with Morals of a Man
1. Chiefly British: A slovenly woman
2. A promiscuous woman
Now Mad Hatter…we both know my morals have been a tad shaky in the past. Sometimes I make bad decisions. Sue me. But overall, I’d like to think I’m a good person who believes in the good in other people. I chose a profession in which I hopefully can do some good to the world. But I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes. However, unlike you…I take absolute responsibility for mine. I regret my actions, I apologize (which you’ve NEVER done), and I ask for forgiveness from the individual I’ve wronged. Too bad you refuse to do the same. Vis-a-vis, I suspect my morals are higher then yours, hence why we can negate Urban Dictionary’s poor excuse for a definition.
Next, let’s address the word “slovenly.” I am neither messy or dirty. I enjoy a daily shower and I take pride in my appearance. I’m sure you can remember that from our time together, so let’s cross out that second definition as well.
I suppose the third and final definition could be rather tricky as promiscuity is highly subjective. An individual could read my blog and ASSUME that I’m promiscuous. They could ASSUME that sex means nothing to me, and I sleep with whomever, and whenever I want to with extreme impulsivity or without regard for real emotions. However, my dear Mad Hatter, they would be wrong wouldn’t they? I don’t do “casual.” Sex involves every emotion I possess…and anyone who’s slept with me would know that.
In all actuality, the fact that you use this word to describe me not only makes me think you’re uneducated and should review your vocabulary, but it also shows how little you got to know me during our time together. (If you need a refresher you can read about that here)
Mad Hatter, there could be a thousand reasons why you felt it necessary to pop back up into my life. Maybe you wanted to make me feel shitty about myself…maybe you miss my friendship…or mayhaps you were just bored one day and decided you wanted to fuck with someone and I was the lucky winner. (Since you’re dead inside, I’d go with the latter)
But take note: After this cathartic release, I refuse to waste a single second of my time thinking about you. I refuse to accept the term “slut” simply because I enjoy sex. I’m looking for my soulmate…not casual sex and anyone who has read this blog would CLEARLY know that. Sex is an amazing thing in this life, and I REFUSE to be someone who takes it for granted. I do not fit the definition Mad Hatter, so stop trying to force my square peg self into your round hole. (No pun intended).
When will society stop dishing out double standards like yesterday’s leftovers?
When will women embrace their sexuality, but at the same time respect themselves for everything else they have to offer?
But most importantly, when will men stop the name-calling? All you’re doing is reinforcing what society has always told us…that we’re not your equal. Stop. Build us up. Don’t break us down. We are capable of deep concentrated love. Why would you ever want to hinder that?
Mad Hatter I hope you realize I don’t need your advice. I want nothing of what you have to offer me. You are a toxic human being and your numbness is contagious. Have you had enough attention yet?
JBlondie (The Big ‘Ol Slovenly woman who’s promiscuousness is out of control…let’s all pray for her soul)
P.S. Remember that time you sent me a video of you playing with an anonymous girls breasts in order to simply crush my sense of self worth? That was special. I’ll always treasure the memories you’ve provided.
P.P.S. A huge thank you to Ann St. Vincent who provided me with a moment of lightening during a dark cloud