Lessons in Sign Language

Remember that time I dated a really hot deaf guy? Oh wait. No. I haven’t told you that story yet.

Riker was everything a good woman deserves. He was sweet, caring, sensitive, all wrapped up with a goofy sense of a humor. With two children he saw often, and a job he loved you’d think that I was an idiot for letting him go. But the heart wants what the heart wants and due to The Psychopath and The Mad Hatter…my heart was not ready to beat again.

Riker had told me right from the beginning he was deaf.

My immediate thought: Huh. Sex would be interesting.

My second thought: I wonder what dirty talk in sign language looks like…

I will always remember the first time I saw Riker. I stepped out of my tiny car, looked up from my red hooded coat and sent a request up into the heavens:

“Dear Baby Buddha, please don’t let this deaf man be a serial killer.”

There he was …all 6’4 of him. Holy shiznit he was giant. Did I tell him how tall I was? Did he prefer to tower over his dates? Was he a serial killer that preferred small women so he could crush their bones more easily with his hands?

Riker smiled, said hello and yep. He was deaf. His “hi” had confirmed it. I gave him a hug and tried to feel his body through his coat. …I’ve always been a fan of a good “feelsky.”

I immediately felt awkward not knowing sign language. How was this ever going to work? But being my stubborn self I was not about to let a tiny hindrance get in the way of me meeting my possible soulmate.

We sat down at a table and the waitress came over. I ordered a Miller Light and Riker pointed to the menu for the waitress. She had obviously seen him before because she seemed to understand immediately that he was deaf and mimed the sizes for him in order to assure she would be getting the right one. Mental Note: Start tipping better…

After she left the table he took off his coat. Hello Greek God!

Now I’ve never been one to focus on looks before but when a beautiful man is sitting in front of me…you can bet your dick that I’m going to be appreciating him. His arms were thick and muscular; his chest was most likely chiseled; His lips (which I hadn’t noticed yet) were thick and moisturized and his pale blue eyes made me pain for The Psychopath. Great….::sigh::

Riker was definitely the most attractive man I had been on a date with. Sitting next to him, grabbing his perfect biceps, gave me a glimpse of what it felt like to be Vanna White. That’s the only way to explain it really…

Thanks to technology, specifically smart phones, Riker and I communicated via the ‘Notes’ Application. We noted about our favorite TV shows, our jobs, and football. He also began to teach me the sign alphabet and common words like man, women, mother, and father. I liked learning sign language. It’s like knowing a secret code and who wouldn’t want to learn a secret code?

I left that night knowing Riker wasn’t my soulmate, but I also left a little smarter.

For our second date we met at a Mexican Restaurant. Have I ever mentioned how much I loved Mexican food? Good job Riker.

This meet-up seemed to go much more smoothly. I was more relaxed and since I had told Riker I wasn’t really feeling the Zsa Zsa Zu we had agreed to only meet as friends…yeah right. Chit-chat went well via the Note Application once again and I learned some new sign language.

Riker was as hot as ever, but I also knew this wasn’t going anywhere.

I’m a HUGE communicator. When someone can’t talk to me or I can’t talk to them I feel an immediate disconnect. I need the juicy details of your life…the good stuff…the hard stuff…and Riker’s only hard stuff involved bad mouthing his Ex-wife. (HUGE turn-off!) I needed to hear the inflection in his voice when he said my name. I needed him to hear my laugh. And that was never going to happen.

But as we stood in the parking lot and his lips met mine….my brain lost control. My body wanted him. Riker’s kiss made my knees weak, my palms sweaty, and my lady wood pop and say hello. Was Riker going to be my Rebound? Was this what people called “using” someone? Could I use Riker just like The Psychopath and The Mad Hatter had used me to jump-start their hearts?

I was conflicted. My morality was at risk and only time would tell if I would allow myself to give in to Riker’s perfect body.









24 thoughts on “Lessons in Sign Language

  1. I keep going back to the opening scene of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” where the cops bust in on the guy screwing the deaf chick. They think he’s murdering her because she has no idea how loud she is.

    My point is, be careful….he might be a screamer.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I wouldn’t worry about the Riker scene too much, it was never to go to work out because he was still on the rebound; bitching about his ex gives it away. It’s something I’ve learned to look out for – women on the rebound – and then adjust my plans accordingly…usually squeezing as much goodness out of what was on offer… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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