Amber Alert: Teach Disappears….

Since I was fifteen minutes late to the first date I decided to show up as early as possible to the second. Needless to say I was only about four minutes ahead of schedule.

I decided to just walk in and wait for him but as I looked down at my phone to check the time I realized I had missed a text letting me know he was there.

Teach looked even more adorable tonight than he had for our first meet up. His green sweater made his eyes pop, and the confidence he showed through his walk and initial smile was highly attractive.

I had taken the initiative (since he had for our first date) and decided I was going to take him ice-skating. He had never been before so I felt like this would be something fun for the both of us. Also, how can you live in the Chicago area and NOT have ever been ice-skating before? …seriously.

As I paid for our skates and time around the rink I could tell he was a little taken a back. Men always act a little weird the first time I pay for something. I’ve never understood that. He had paid for our entire first date. Do most women really expect you to pay for everything on the second too? I shrugged off his surprised response and away we went.

“No wonder it’s taking you so long…” Teach commented as I struggled to tie up my laces.

…”look at those Kielbasa fingers!” He grinned.

Oh.My.God. He had just called my fingers fat….his originality was amazing.


As I doubled over laughing from his complete disregard for caring what I thought, I realized I had just passed an important test of his. A girl who can’t laugh at herself is no fun at all.

We got onto the ice and I realized I had not been ice-skating in about five years…and hadn’t been really good at it back then. Teach took the baby step route and I went for the more daring approach of holding on to the sides of rink.

We were both on the struggle bus, and per usual I was the one driving.

After about fifteen minutes of skating I was over it. In between falling on my ass and his tiny two-inch forward movements, we were working way too hard to carry on a conversation.

He had told me some funny quips from that day about his students, and I had asked some family related questions to get a little more insight into Teach. But just like the first date, our conversation seemed forced. For some reason I was having a hard time being myself around him. …and I detest that feeling.

Nothing seemed to be flowing naturally. So when I suggested we give up the aspiration of becoming gold medalists in figure skating I was surprised to hear Teach protest telling me he wanted more time on the ice with me.

I was getting mixed signals…and I’ve never been good at following directions in the first place.

After skating ended we headed for dinner and drinks. Conversation got better over dinner and I was beginning to feel a little more relaxed, (probably due to my Jack and Diet) but similar to the first date, our second date seemed to be lasting too long. Why was I always in a hurry around him? If you’re really into someone shouldn’t you have that “can’t get enough,” feeling?

As we stood by my car that night I was hoping for a second kiss. While I was still unsure of how I felt about Teach I DEFINITELY knew that I liked kissing him. So when he came in for a hug rather than a lip-lock I was a little relieved but also a tad bit disappointed.

This was an obvious sign that Teach and I were on the same wavelengths when it came to how we felt about each other right? He knew there wasn’t much chemistry. He had felt the same awkwardness I had, and he was being the adult in the situation by not wasting anyone’s time.

Now here’s the thing…I don’t beat around the bush. If I don’t like you…you’re gonna know it. If I’m unsure…we’ll probably discuss it, and you best believe if I’m into you I’m going to say it. We’re all too old to be hiding how we feel, and playing the same “Do you like me check Yes or No” game like we did at age ten.

So when I arrived home I texted Teach to confirm that we were both on the same page with everything.

JBlondie: So with no kiss I’m gonna take that as a nice to meet you but this isn’t for me kind of a thing?

Teach: No way! I was unsure of what you wanted.

JBlondie: Well I’m pretty sure a hug is taking things backwards from the first date kiss ending soo….

 Teach: Well little miss you are wrong.

Huh. I was wrong. Maybe he had felt more for me then I had for him. HOWEVER, the next night when I hadn’t heard anything from him all day I began to get even MORE confused. We usually texted at least very briefly everyday since knowing each other so not hearing from him made me think that I WAS right.Teach just was NOT that into me. I was perfectly ok with that idea, but then why did he respond that way the night before?   …and I thought women were suppose to be the confusing ones…

After not hearing from him for two days I sent him a casual “how are you?” text while at work one night. I wanted an answer damnit. However I was super surprised by his response!

Teach: I’m a responder. If you text me I’m going to text back. And I’ll always be upfront about how I feel.

 JBlondie: Well how about getting together this week sometime? (What was I doing?…I was wasting both of our time…Teach was not my soulmate)

Teach: For sure. Name the time and place and I’ll be there.

The next day I sent Teach a quick text giving him my schedule for the week …

He never responded.

I sent a Hump-Day text a couple days later.

He never responded…

The next day as Kristyn and I were drinking on the couch I sent him a smartass text which read …

JBlondie: …your overwhelming responses are too much for me.

Teach had disappeared. And he was NOT upfront as he had claimed to be. It was all a very confusing ending…to a pointless set of questions because I knew he wasn’t it for me. All in all my dating experience with Teach was an awkward bouncy ball; entertaining for a little bit but not something you’d ever find yourself invested in.

Side Note: Teach if you’re out there just know that Kristyn and I miss your One-liners like WHOA! We need more Motivational Mondays in our lives and we’re pretty sure you could be the “Jack” to our “Janet and Chrissy” scenario. 🙂

P.S. Stay tuned for next week’s addition…JBlondie almost drowns from being pulled under the sea.







10 thoughts on “Amber Alert: Teach Disappears….

  1. You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear you don’t beat around the bush when it comes to whether you like/don’t like someone or are unsure. In my limited experience it seems like most girls are either unable or unwilling to do this.

    I was just wondering about something, though… he said “name the time and place” and you gave him your schedule instead. Why the disparity?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting…I don’t really know. But you’re absolutely right…that’s what he said and I gave him my work schedule…huh. I guess I was hoping he would take the lead….? I’m not sure. Good question! I guess I was a little confusing too!


      • It actually reminds me of an exchange I had with Brooklyn Girl – the hardcore dancer that ditched me when I showed up for our date. During our online conversation I had said something along the lines of “well if you’d like a +1 the next time you go to one of those dance socials, let me know because I’ll gladly go.”

        Her response? “I will let you know if you find me on Facebook I can invite you to the events and you can go as you please and know about where they are and what will be going on in the events.” Okay… but it was a WTF moment for me because she didn’t tell me her name, so how was I supposed to find her on Facebook?? And her response didn’t sound quite right. I mentally red-flagged the exchange because it seemed like something was “off” about her.

        Turns out, I was right…

        Liked by 1 person

      • But honestly I’m not really surprised to hear that things turned out this way with Teach. My first impression from your last post was that something was a little “off” about him too, what with his “Well I’m not your little monkey. I’m not just gonna sing and dance for you all night long. You tell me” remark.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I know right?!? Where’d he go??? Did he get hit by a bus? Go back to an ex? Decide that living with his parents was too embarrassing to begin a new relationship? I have no clue! It’s like trying to answer the question why do men have nipples? Pointless but oh so intriguing….


  2. Such a good story, wish a girl would take me ice skating 😦 it was good of you to pay, on a second date the guy still expects to pay then third date maybe ‘halfers’ as we say in Glasgow. Also, you’ve no idea how much guys love a girl who can laugh at herself, I’d say it’s one of the first things I look for. Love your writing, really flows. Thanks for sharing 🙂


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