My Heart is ‘Love’s Eternal Optimist’ but My Head just thinks…SEX

Whether you’re a lover or a fighter, a romantic or a realist, or even a sadist versus a masochist, it’s still February 14th. Valentines Day can be filled with whatever you choose; chocolates, flowers, an incredible amount of self-loathing, or my personal favorite…multiple orgasms.

It’s a day for singles to buy themselves something pretty, a day for dating couples to feel awkward, and a chance for married people to look at one another with just a tad bit more appreciation because their spouse is the root cause for a no-stress environment today.

No matter how you’re spending these heart luscious hours, I hope you’ll remember why love is so important. Whether it’s self love, love for another, or just love for your dog…remember that The Beatles said it best: All You Need Is Love! Here’s one of my favorite posts from last year to get your brain pumping full of oxytocin.

Spread sweetness my dear friends, and Happy Valentines Day from JBlondie XoXo


 Get ready to throw-up in your mouth a little bit. Spring Fever has hit me which means not only am I horny as fuck but my HEART wants to feel something more than a mind blowing orgasm. I’ve never been one to settle for anything less than head over heels really when it’s come to love. And there’s a reason for that.

 I’m a believer in soul-mates. I’m a true believer in True Love. While love does NOT conquer all…I think it does conquer MOST. Long-term relationships are hard as fuck but the reality is…when we find the right person…we’re willing to stick it out.

 There is so much cynicism these days about true love and trust me I have my moments…(like seriously where the hell is he already?) It’s all funny and good to talk about how we hate Valentines Day or scoff at the idea of marriage, but deep down…you know you want something more than just a fun fling.

So in the end I’m just a silly sap who truly believes one day that MOST (not everyone) will find this…


The longer relationships last the higher the risk of Cheating, Broken Hearts, Broken Families etc. becomes. But seriously who WOULDN’T risk ALL of that for a chance at this….


 For those Hard-CORE Love Cynics out there who believe monogamy is a joke and that humans weren’t built for that, I say Fuck You. Let me live in my dream world if I want to, and go hide behind your walls of negativity. Because we’ve all been burned, …but I will NEVER stop jumping into that fire. After all, when I’m 87 rocking my Orthopedic shoes and happy that there’s a crotchety old man beside me…you’ll probably be dead (because it’s statistically proven that those in long-term relationships live longer). So stop bursting my bubble because I plan on saving them for this guy….


 Now just because I’m a professor of True Love does NOT mean that I’m a “Hopeless Romantic.” Yuck. Romance is for cheesy people who think that Roses and fancy dinners lead to “making love.” Double Yuck. (I might have just thrown-up in my own mouth a little bit) No…I’m a strong believer in sassy over sweet, reality over romantic gestures. If you want to show me that you love me…don’t buy me a scarf (I mean that’d be ok because I love scarves) but really…throw me on a bed and tell me that no matter how old we get you’ll still want that afternoon delight with me AND are willing to swallow some of your manly pride to ensure it still happens by taking Viagra as needed. Which all this really means is that I’m hoping to be this couple in about 50 years.




 Every where you look there are broken people, broken families, people who married too soon, and those who got married for ALL of the wrong reasons. There are about 4,592 reasons NOT to believe in True Love…but for fuck sake…be one of the few people that occasionally takes off your mask of insecurity/hard outer shell and let the goodness of vulnerability creep up on you. Don’t be the friend at the bar telling everyone how ALL men are liars or ALL women are crazy and that their new girlfriend/boyfriend will eventually break their heart. No! Be the person who thinks man…I wonder if those two will look like this someday…


      Because it IS out there friends. LOVE does exist. And if you havn’t found it yet? …just keep swimming.





14 thoughts on “My Heart is ‘Love’s Eternal Optimist’ but My Head just thinks…SEX

  1. I always seem to find my partners when I’m not looking for them. I guess if you’re not expecting anything, then when life puts something amazing in front of you, you truly are surprised 🙂 I don’t think there’s only *one* perfect person out there for us, there’s plenty. I’m not good at maths but I can work out that the world is a big place and the chances of finding that one person is probably harder than finding a needle in a haystack. Unless the haystack was really really huge.. ANYWAY I think the thing is trying to find people who change at the same pace as us. I loved all my ex’s *at the time* but people change direction, or nature, or make different life goals, or learn that they now view things differently etc. So just have fun while you can and don’t expect to find a Mr Right anytime soon and chances are he’ll walk right in front of your nose 😉 but please keep up the hilarious stories in the meanwhile! 😀 xo oh and ps. I’m not into monogamy, but it hasn’t stopped me from loving people and it’s not as a result of being cheated on or anything (as far as I’m aware I’ve never been cheated on). I just don’t like it. I don’t like mangos either. People can go on about how good mangos are but I’m still not going to eat them. But if you like mangos that’s your personal choice and that’s cool 🙂 Totes not negative about love or long lasting relationships because I believe in them too 🙂 I could end up as that gran pulling the man on the rocking horse behind her, but I’d have a few more people attached haha!


    • 1. This is the longest comment I have ever received. And it’s amazing. So good job.
      2. I see your opinion and I raise you belief in my soulmate since I was 11 y/o. He’s out there. I can feel it.
      3. Mangos are totally overrated! Don’t feel the need to cave to peer pressure of any kind because they taste super weird.
      4. I think growing together as a couple is so incredibly necessary and that’s what I say too when people break-up/get divorced. They just both grew as individuals but not together. …maybe one of us should write a book on that.
      5. The amount of smiley’s you used in this comment makes me question your sexuality…but yet….I’m ok with it. 🙂


      • LOL @ mangos! Yep, im with you on that! I totally give you permission to take the reigns and write a book, I get wayyy too distracted by shiny objects to be able to sit down and focus on anything for a long period of time.

        I think the Smileys are because I’m a pretty happy person but you can totally question it, I’m an open book. I’m attracted to the person as a whole, not their privates 🙂

        Sorry for the long comment but once I get chatting, its hard to stop me! Haha


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